Henchmen waiting
by theexpert31
Summary: Rated R for crude humor. Two henchmen waiting for a Job with plenty of flashbacks. Take place in the past


At the Head Quarter of and up coming villain called the Immortal  
  
Two henchmen was about to apply for a Job. No one knows what the plan these instruments of evil had in store. No one know what laid in their dark hearts.  
  
Jim- Ok this is our first time meeting a Major villain so be cool. Ok. Don't freak out  
  
Phil- Find  
  
Jim- be sure not to say anything stupid ok. We got to stand tall. Don't be talking about comics book and cartoons. Also don't be farting, and acting are scared  
  
Phil- (sarcastically)Is it ok to piss on the table because you know if you don't tell me I will do it  
  
Jim- Shut up Phil Ok where about to go in. Game faces on. Eyes of the Tiger Phil  
  
Phil- Tapped into the force  
  
Jim- doing it for thudara  
  
Phil- For Adrian baby  
  
They open the door. Sasha was in the secretary table. . Her skirt was short showing off her smooth creamy legs. She had a hot model face and two sexy red lips. She had glasses on but she didn't need them. She only wore them to do the whole naughty secrtary look.. She had her hair in the bonnet so she could do the dramatic let your hair down move when she was ready for love.  
  
Jim- Hi my name..  
  
Sasha- Jim and Phil..he been expecting you have a seat  
  
Jim- ahhh ok  
  
Phil looked at the wall. There he saw women with names under them. They were historic names on some of them  
  
Phil- what this  
  
Sasha-the immortal like to put pictures of his conquest over the years and years of life. He like to reminded of every woman he made love to.  
  
Jim- Wow he banged Cleopatra  
  
Xerxes- Yes they had a relationship but didn't work out like the expect  
  
Back during the time of Cleopatra  
  
Immortal- kiss me love  
  
Cleopatra- Oh Immortal finally we will make love.. You will deflower me and take me to places I never imagine  
  
Immortal put her on the bed ripped off her dress  
  
Immortal- yes my love we will make passion so intense that the gods will write about. Bards will sing of the night as the day the earth shook  
  
Cleopatra- Yes my cherish one. I want you to plunge into me and carry me down the river of passion. Part my seas and baptize me with love  
  
Xerxes- oh my sweet we will make a fire with our hearts that greater then the sun  
  
Cleopatra- Yes my love..we will make the earth and shake…fires burns..moon and sun rises…and then..  
  
Xerxes- and then what my sweet (kissing her neck)  
  
Cleopatra- and then …  
  
Immortal- and then what oh keeper of my heart  
  
Cleopatra- And then I can shit on your face  
  
Immortal-………..  
  
Cleopatra- my love  
  
Immortal- (putting his pants back on) All right you got to get the fuck out of here  
  
Cleopatra- To much  
  
Back to 85  
  
Phil- Wow history is so wonderful  
  
Jim- Yea sure is my friend  
  
Sasha- take a seat…Immortal got a lot of people to see  
  
They sat down by them was Tombstone. He was a cruel gangster who was rising up in crime and wanted to make an evil bargain with the immortal  
  
Tombstone- That wall is nothing. I had many whore in my time..Whores that scream for me to stop and that I left for dead…ohm sweet pleasure…Women that I tore apart with my giant Rod  
  
Jim- Hmmmm that's nice..heres and idea how about you never tell me that again…ok big guy  
  
Tombstone- What the matter you too timid to here about a real man conqu  
  
Jim- here a clue. If a story envolve you one eyes midget..I don't want to hear it. No one want to hear about lil frodo baggins tripped to some hooker enchanted sweaty forest. If It envolve your kibbles and bits…your fruity pebbles or Moe and the 2 stooges..I don't want to hear it. And quick bragging about whores..not impressive. Their whores. It not a accomplishment. Changes are they had more hair on their chest then their dad. A gap tooth so big you can make a field goal. Teeth look like two melted snickers bars stuck together. One probably goes by the name yohoo because they have a glass leg filled with yoo-hoo and ever time you see them they say yoo hoo. Ass cheeks so big they clap together like someone put up a applause sign during the Sullivan show  
  
Immortal- I should KILL YOU WHERE YOU STAND BOY  
  
Jim- (putting up a magazine) sorry can't listen..reading a magazine..Goofus and Gallant. Apparenly Gallant likes eating his vegitble but goofus hmmmm would you imagine that  
  
Phil- Gallant's a pussy. Stick it to them Goofus..stick it to the man  
  
Sasha- Tombstone. Immortal will see you soon  
  
Tombstone- Soon…soon you will die  
  
Jim- holy shit man your names Tombstone  
  
Pain-man- Soon  
  
Jim- What you going to do hit me with a pizza  
  
Phil- that guy seem familiar  
  
Jim- yea what ever  
  
Phil turn to someone  
  
Phil- how long you been waiting  
  
A 8 foot man in a rhino suit spoke  
  
Rhino- 4 hours  
  
Phil- wow  
  
Rhino- worth it. He said he he give me more powers.  
  
Jim- Hmmm cool  
  
Rhino- you ever been in a gang  
  
Jim- not really  
  
Phil- I was ounce  
  
Flashback  
  
Westside music story plays. A couple of people came out dancing snapping their fingers  
  
Du duh…dee dee..duh duh duh  
  
Phil- BLOODS  
  
Duh.duh..duh…..duh duh duh  
  
Rival Gang jumps out  
  
Rival gang leader- Crips  
  
Duh Duh Duh….duh  
  
Back to the year 85  
  
Rhino- cool is this your first Job Jim  
  
Jim- Well first official as a henchman. Did a little security when this portal to another world open and I was stuck there for a while. Turn out the place was an evil organgazion. The heroes interrogated me for hours. I did break  
  
Rhino- How you managed  
  
Jim- All about having balls of steal my friend  
  
Flash back  
  
Ulitmate Universe  
  
Two people walk near a street wearing leather jackets and sunglasses. It was a woman and a man  
  
Black widow- Ready hawkeye  
  
Hawkeye- Ready Black window  
  
Guard- Appoitment sir  
  
Hawkeye- Sure let me get the appointement slip right (breaking into a roudhouse kick) here  
  
The man was sent flying an as he went flying Hawkeye pulled out an bow and shot him with 3 arrows. The arrows flew so fast they didn't even see his hands. The gaurds reach for thiere guns as arrows took them out into the hands and neck. Black window leaped over the first guard who was shot and bounce of his falling body. She flipped through the air over the bullets and arrows. She landed and crotch down taking the dead man guns. She fired with expert accuracy taking everyone out. She ran through the office building firieng and picking up weapons. He gun clicked empty as a guard grabbed for a machine gun. She put her fist into a hammer and snapped his jaw out of his mouth with one fattle blows. She ducked as a bullet missed her by and inch. She took the machine gun and slicked her hair back and smiled. She fired her machine gun killing people in the room  
  
Hawkeye- Show off  
  
Black Widow- Thanks  
  
The fire taking out office workes, janitors, guards, soldier…everyone was a pontentail enemy. Jim was sitting in the room reading a book. He had headphones on and couldn't hear. His job was to keep the codes to the vault. The door broke open and severed head fail into his lap  
  
Black window broke the headphone off of him  
  
Black window- Give me the codes  
  
Jim-……..  
  
Black window- codes  
  
Jim- AAAAAAAAAA HOLY FUCKING SHIT..AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
  
AAAAAAAAAAAA…..AAAAAAAA  
  
3 minuts later  
  
Jim- aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa THERES A HEAD IN MY LAP OHHHH GOD ….DAMMIT AAAAAAAAA  
  
Black widow slapped him  
  
Black widow- Get the hold of yourself man  
  
Jim- woooo thanks I needed that…Wow went a little crazy back there (laughing) woo what you much think of me. Oh shit the head still in my lap AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…look at all those dead bodies. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa  
  
Hawkeye- ohhhh for fucks shakes  
  
Black window- whats that smell  
  
Jim- I shitted myself  
  
Black Widow- dear lord man  
  
3 hours later  
  
Jim- aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa  
  
Hawkeye- isn't there anyone else  
  
Black window- we killed them all…guess I got a little overzealous  
  
Hawkeye- That's it tell me where the codes…(shoots him with arrows)  
  
The arrow went through his leg  
  
Jim- aaaaaaaaaaaaa you shot me with an arrow…what the hell  
  
Hawkeye- trying to calm you down  
  
Jim- So you SHOOT ME WITH AN ARROW…what the hell kind of logic is that. How you cure kids suffering from mollestation..take them to neverland rance…you sick bastard…who the fuck still uses arrows..and what with the gay ass s/m gear….aaaaaa. Your wearing fucking leather in 120 degree weather. What the hells wrong with you. Every time you move your ass sounds like the Tin man from wizard of Oz. Or the weird scruffy buzz cut hair that look like the pussy hair of 70's porn star. You got hairy porn star pussy hair my friend. (get shot with an arrow) ohhhh sweet jesus you did it again…YOU SICK BASTARD…owww you did it again….stop shooting me with arrows…what the hells wrong with you…what kind of sick people shoot with arrows. Ok you won't keep running into bulidings with people who shoot like stormtropper. One day you will wish you had a gun. These guy aimes so bad they couldn't even make a money shot on a 500 pound porn stars ass and you can tell your Emma peel rip off girlfriend to suck my di..  
  
Back to the present  
  
Jim- Got shot with a lot of arrows  
  
Rhino- How you get out  
  
Jim- that a story for another day  
  
Rhino- hmmm if we were in a fictional story written by a hack fanfic writers with a love for immature penis jokes..I will say that sounds like a lame cop out but sense where in the real world I will accept it  
  
Sasha- Rhino your up  
  
He left  
  
Later  
  
5 hours later  
  
Jim- (looking at the magazine) hmmm Lincoln got shot…sure glad they keep these magazine up to date make the joy of waiting into this…  
  
Sasha- Jim…Phil..your next 


End file.
